Seinfeld Kramer You Better Think Again
(a Seinfeld-in-culture note in advance of more Seinfeld-isms to come, very shortly…)
Returning here after more than two years–later I went farewell-farewell in 2013, after saying Helloooo!–I was tempted toward a good George-ism to capture the moment. Maybe the unproblematic, ebullient "I'one thousand back, infant!"
Or the subversive, Eeyore-ish voicemail he once left Jerry, "Hey, it's George…Pfft. I've got nix to say." (BEEP)
But even Costanza comes upward short here. (Sorry, George. I'm really pitiful. Information technology'due south non you, information technology'due south me.) To capture such an unexpected turnabout…I turn to the one-and-but Kramer.
In one of Kramer'due south doofus falls into a legit job (Make/Leland was the poor, unsuspecting company'southward name), his boss called him on the carpet about his output. "I've been reviewing your piece of work," Leland said. "Quite frankly it stinks."
He went on to tell the Ritz-cracker-smacking Kosmo that he must move on.I don't even really work here!was Kramer'due south crevice-me-up reply.
As to why exactly that cracked me up…consider my absence, yes (I don't even really blog here!)…just exercise read on.
The What-Happened
My absence was not intentional. Non even in my mind was Igone(although there is that, sometimes.) I still dear this blog. I even so beloved this show–even though some of it is not as funny to me as I well-nigh 20 years of great marriage and my mid-40s, and seriously/sillily raise 52 children.
(Actually we merely have 5 but jokingly refer to "our 52 children" because, despite the joy, the laughter, all that Schmoopie…sometimes the comments, the questions, all that snap, make it seem similar we takestyle more children than we do.)
Still, much of Seinfeld is as funny to me now equally it was when I start discovered information technology. Some of it is evenfunnier. Which is why I never meant to, in early 2013, stop calculation to this Seinfeldsurvival guide to Life.
Around that time, in an Seinfeldishly ironic twist, Life dispatched a aeroplane across the landscape of the Bounds family, unfurling a banner that read "Survive this"–and started dropping circumstantial bombs. We wanted toyada yada yada over the whole thing…in the George-negative, not the Elaine-positive way.
And so came a Newman-ic depressive phase. You know, where yous're denouncing vegetables and calling for dear-mustard shots and doing other foolish things that have people wiser than you saying life-saving things to you like you better think over again, mojumbo.
The dance of Life didn't halt, per se, during that time. It just shifted into a full-trunk-dry-heave kind of dance. Arms flailing, legs akimbo. Anxiety moving the family halfway across the country…that sort of thing.
Meanwhile, in some other ironic, Seinfeldian twist during that long hiatus…this blog's readership took off across the 2 years I stopped writing. See for yourself:
I can hear George now:Your chances of success in this blog are only injure by y'all continuing to write it.
Even with that attractive ability of the Reverse evidently boosting my piece of work, I withal stayed abroad. Then, later, an idea:If I become dorsum into it someday, I'll practice some new material then get out. Have a bow. Cue the pall drop.
Then, much afterward–nearing the debut of the get-out programme–the plan got a good-surprise"Go out!" push.
TheTimes
Seinfeld neat me upward over Life itself–for me and for those around me–is what led me to launch this blog-ode to the serial on July five, 2010. Five years to the day, that is, coming upward here soon. The last-bow plans came upward almost a year agone. I crafted a Seinfeld-ism "bucket list."
While I dabbled with the plan–fast headed to the five-year ceremony–however anotherSeinfeldian twist occurred: my blog got linked in theNew York Times. This week.(Roll down to the "George's love of cheese" line.)
I can hear Jerry now: Costanza*…Benes**…Bounds***?!
*Call back George'southward hand-clapping joy over a "NEW YORK YANKEES!" chore.
**Recall Elaine's hip-swinging joy over a "NEW YORKER!" gig.
***Pardon my laptop-tapping joy over a NEW YORK TIMES! nibble.
TheNew York Timesexposure leaves me grinning a la Jerry's "And you want to exist my latex salesman" grinning AND looking unfazed a la Newman'south "Hi-lar-ious" deadpan face. Not at the New York Times. At literary agents. Because back in 2010, when I started this blog, I had been trying to publish this material as a book.
The rejection-letter emails that followed (coming more often than not from literary agents based in NEW YORK CITY) are best summarized past this ane line from 1 such agent:
"I don't call up anyone outside of New York is really that interested still in Seinfeld."
Cue the expect on my face akin to Jerry'due south when that Donna Chang gal he was dating used the wordridicurous.
The High Note
Scores of Seinfeldlines come to listen in witty antiphon to that amanuensis's annotate. But I'll just end where I began here and reach back into the Kramer-working-for-Brand/Leland episode. The forenoon of Kramer'southward start day on the job, Jerry saw Kramer in a suit and tie and–dazed and Uncle-Leo-level-confused at his notoriously jobless friend now gloriously dressed for a task–Jerry said, "How long have I been comatose? What year is this?"
Have yous been asleep?I wanted to say to that agent.Do you know what year it is?
Seinfeld has conquered the world!
That was 8 years ago.
Now look at Hulu.
"That people will only watch telly like this in the futurity is so obvious," Jerry himself cracked-wise at the April announcement to the world of the Seinfeld/Hulu duo.
Yep information technology is, Jerry. Yep it is.
So now I plow to George, to do as he once did and–as he learned from Jerry ("Showmanship, George!")–get out on a high note.
Time to publish that book myself.
(Silly-up!)
Stay tuned.
Source: https://seinfeld-ism.com/tag/mojumbo/
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